My Voice... Startled Me!

"My Voice... Startled Me!" by Ali al-Jundi

English

Arabic

In my sleep I saw a time with no people, no flowers and no… Only butterflies. Butterflies and two birds from my heart's alabaster and no sound except a reed-flute singing of love with lonesome longing. Suddenly, His voice startled me! Commanding me: “Up and read The Fateha*!” I did not submit It howled without mercy: “Write.” I did not write nor read nor... The voice moved away, shouting: “write or else!” I said: “or else what? Here I remain, alone, prince of flowers, elder of butterflies companion of birds, no family or tribe! Master from a galloping fire...” Then, the dream ended. I awoke surrounded by a forenoon and all that would kill me till the gusting of evening! But I continued playing with my sorrows and dreams,  alone, together. I erected a statue for my love upon the hill of desire and fenced it with summer rain so that near it, I am home; away from it, a flood would drown it... …And here I am digging a tunnel under my kin resolute, persevering maybe in my labor I will find a treasure— a glass cup or a doll crafted from history’s papers or woven from sun’s threads or maybe, or maybe!! ................. I tended to my sleep once more. I came upon a land whose taste is bitter. Its people crawling. No burning sun or stinging cold, but they were shivering! Half of them dead. They frowned upon my appearance. Denied that amongst them was my family. I screamed at them loudly, loudly: “Listen to me and understand me.” They found my words alien and crept far away from me without a sound or a gesture. I shrieked in frustration: “Hey you...“ My voice awakened me, so I huddled in silence!!

... رأيتُ في نومي زماناً بلا    ناسٍ ولا زهرٍ ولا... غير فراشاتٍ ، فراشاتٍ وعصفورين من مرمرِ قلبي ولا.. صوت سوى نايٍ يغني الهوى في وحشةٍ     و ... فجأةً:           فاجأني صوتُهْ! يأمرني:          هيّا اقرا الفاتحَهْ! لم أمتثلْ         صاح بلا رحمةٍ: أكتبْ ، فلم أكتب ولم اقرأ ولم... صار بعيداً ، صاح، إقرأ وإلّا ..      قلت: إلّا... إنني ها هنا قاعدٌ ، وحدي ،       أمير الزهر،             شيخ الفراشات عشير الطير ، لا أهلٌ ولا قبيلة! سيْدٌ من النار التي تخبو... ثم... انتهى الحلم، أفقتُ ، الضحى حولي وكل الذي يميتني حتى هبوب المسا! .. لكنّني واصلتُ وحدي معاً؛ لعبي بأحزاني وأحلامي، أقمتُ تمثالاً لحبي على             رابية الشهوة             سوّرته             بالمطر الصيفيّ             حتى إذا             قاربته لم أغتربْ             باعدتُه عاجله الوكفُ... ... وها أنا أحفرُ سردابَةً تحت عشيري دائباً ، دائباً فربما عثرتُ في شغلي على كنزٍ ، على كوبٍ من البلّور أو دميةٍ من ورق التاريخ مشغولةٍ أو من نسيج الشمس منسوجةٍ أو .. ربما، أو ربما!!              ..........................              .......................... .. قارفت نومي مرةْ أخرى: فجئتُ أرضاً طعمُها مرُّ، وناسها يزحفونْ لا شمس تكويهم ولا بردُ            ولكنّهم يرعشونْ!            ونصفهم ميتونْ.. واستنكروا شكلي وأنكروا أنْ بينهم أهلي صرخت فيهم عالياً ، عالياً... أَن اسمعوني وافهموا فاستغربوا قولي... وزحفوا عني بعيداً           بلا صوتٍ ولا إيمائةٍ ،      فصحتُ من قهري يا.. أيقظني صوتي فلذتُ بالصمتِ!!

Overview

"My Voice... Startled Me!" was originally published in Arabic. The first line is taken from the first line of the Quran.

Structure

The poem is written in the free verse style of Arabic poetry known as nather (نثر) developed in the Middle East during the mid-1900s. As such, it does not have a strict meter or rhyming structure, but rather uses punctuation and new lines to convey the intended concepts and emotion.

Other Works

• The Trains Keep Passing
• Here I Am Alone, and Seeing You
• Where Is the Escape?

Notes

• English translation by Lahab Assef al-Jundi
• Formatting issues in the Arabic version may cause punctuation to display incorrectly. A fix is in progress.